As Dr. Tessina explains, “the skills couples need to keep intimacy alive in a long-term relationship aren’t obvious.” If someone with a PhD in psychotherapy cannot explain the key to a perfect, intimate relationship, you may be wondering how you are supposed to figure it out.
After researching studies from doctors, psychologists, couples counselors and therapists, we narrowed down a list of traits that perfectly paired couples tend to share. Whether you are trying to decide if your partner is perfect for you or want to validate what you already know, these 15 signs will help you decide just how well matched you are.
- You communicate well and you communicate often. Neither of you feel the need to keep secrets and arguments happen less frequently because you discuss your feelings.
- You are on a similar path. While this doesn’t mean all of your hopes and dreams have to be identical, you should agree on whether you want to buy a home, get married or have children.
- You make each other better. Both of you admire traits in the other that make you want to be a better person yourself.
- You have your own hobbies. You haven’t lost your individuality or given up your favorite activities. You still find time for yourselves which is important for personal growth.
- You both contribute equally to making the relationship work. You work as a team bringing your strengths to build each other up.
- You both feel like you are benefitting from being together. While this one may seem obvious, focus on the word benefitting. You two are not just enjoying each other’s company, you are improving happiness and making each other better.
- You handle conflict in a compatible way. This means you can approach difficulty differently but also in a way that works together. If you fight in drastically opposing way, this can lead to conflicts escalating.
- You know who you are and what you want. You don’t have to have all of the answers but if you don’t know who you are, how can you know if you are with the right person for you?
- You forgive each other. Both of you can let things go and move on from mistakes.
- You make time to have fun together. This can become more challenging as your responsibilities grow but you have to continue dating, laughing and enjoying things together to sustain a strong relationship.
- You are a team. You work together and solve problems together. When things get tough you know you have someone that has your back.
- You are affectionate. Intimacy is the difference between a romantic relationship and a platonic friendship.
- You both want the best for each other. Because your relationship is built on mutual love and respect, the other’s happiness is important to both of you.
- You empathize. You are both attentive and tolerant of one another. When one is suffering you turn towards each other rather than away.
- Your relationship is a top priority. Both of you are aware of how important you are to each other.
Now that you have confirmed you and your sweet pea go together like flowers and chocolate, double check that you have your Valentine’s Day plans squared away. If you are still looking for date ideas we have a few suggestions for you.