Contrary to what popular rom coms have you believe, it’s going to take more than blasting music from a boombox or organizing a flash mob to sweep her off her feet once again. When you’ve spent some time apart, you really have to show her you want to do it right this time around.

Rekindling love after it’s lost is no easy feat for anyone and to make things more complicated, there’s no rulebook on how to win her back. How is she feeling? Will flowers and chocolate steal her heart? Should you play it cool? Maybe you just need to be honest.

Although we can’t help you figure out exactly what she’s thinking or the perfect words to say, we can give you some guidance for getting it right on round two. We surveyed over 1,000 people about their experiences getting back together with an ex. Read on to discover tips, tricks and surprising stats from the experts on just how to get your ex-girlfriend back!

how to win her back

We have you covered with everything you need to know about how to win her back below:

  1. Set realistic expectations. It’s not going to be a walk in the park to get back together with a lost lover. It might be even more difficult than you had first assumed. In fact, only 23% of women said that they would get back together with an ex, so you’ll want to be sure you get it right the second time around. There’s no room for error here!
  2. Practice a few jokes. Your first thought may be to approach the situation seriously with a thought-out plan. We found that the best way to win a woman over is by making her laugh. As a matter of fact, women value someone who can make her laugh 10% more than men do. It’s time to pull out that joke book.
  3. Consider your differences. What might win your heart over may not be the same thing that’ll win hers. Surprisingly enough, men are more likely to be won over with compliments and gifts. They also value the impressions of their friends and family more than women do. It’ll be important to consider your differences for a successful rekindling of love.
  4. Make a thoughtful gesture instead of a materialistic one. Your best bet is to be sincere. We found that women are less likely to be impressed with materialistic gestures like an unforgettable date or gifts, but are more likely to be won over by someone who can make her laugh, help out with errands or offer a sincere compliment. Make sure that you know the proper way to her heart.
  5. Be honest. It’s been said that honesty is the best policy and women would have to agree. We asked women what quality they value most in a significant other and their top answer by far with 43% was honesty.
  6. Rebuild your relationship on friendship. We found that women also place high value on the friendship of a significant other and 19% answered that this is the quality they value most. Make sure you can be a shoulder for her to lean on and the soulmate she knows she can confide in.
  7. Don’t worry so much about being mature and empathetic. Sure, these two qualities probably won’t hurt you in the long run, but don’t spend too much time worrying about them. Our survey shows that maturity and empathy are the two qualities women value least in a significant other.
  8. Factor in age. Age isn’t just a number and it can affect your chances at winning her back. We found that younger people are actually more likely to get back together with an ex than older people are. Older women value honesty 24% more than younger women do and younger women value a sense of humor 15% more than older women do. Keep age in mind when you’re thinking how to win your ex back.
  9. Don’t be quick to give up. Just another reminder that it’s not going to be easy, but it can be worth it. Dr. Todd Creager, licensed marriage therapist, adds that, “No relationship, whether it’s with your ex or someone new, is going to be easy all the time.” “Don’t expect relationships to always be easy and comfortable.”
  10. It may be hard, but there’s hope. Don’t get too discouraged. According to a recent study, about 37% of couples living together and 23% of married couples have broken up and then gotten back together again.

It’s not going to be easy or comfortable, but you can discover more surprising insights and advice from the pros below. Who knows, you could have her back in your arms before you know it!


If there’s one thing that relationships are notorious for, it’s a lot of work. Telling someone how you feel and wearing your heart on your sleeve is intimidating the first time around, let alone the second. Use our tips, tricks and professional advice above to win her back for good.

Whether you’ve broken up over something silly or have had some serious time to think about your differences as a couple, there’s nothing quite like being honest and a heartfelt “I’m sorry” or fresh flower arrangement is sure to help too.